I knew I loved her the second I saw her though the chain linked fence at the shelter. Her striped face that looked like a tiger did not match her German Shepard everything else. I remember the first time I took her on a walk, she pounced like she could not contain her body and looked at me with those eyes that could melt your soul, like no matter what she did, even bad, was never wrong. I knew this dog. She would be by first.
I’d never had a dog. The feeling of loving something so much was still a bit foreign to me. Others wanted to take her home from the shelter, but none loved her like I did. I remember wanting her so bad it hurt in the bottom of my stomach, and when I thought of not being able to take her home my heart would crack and slowly start to bleed. When writing the paperwork trying to adopt her, I saw the question, “why do you want to take this dog home” I wrote, “because I already love her and she is my family”, and she was, and she is still today.
Months later I remember looking in the review mirror of my car and seeing her looking back at me and saying to her, “Tiggy, you and daddy are the best things that ever happened to me”, and I believed that more than I believed anything. This was my first family. She, was my first baby, and as the years went by she became less and less important. We had other babies, ones without fur. We got jobs that became more important than taking her to the beach every day, ones more important than even picking up a bone for her like we used to, and you still thought we carried the moon.
You still loved us, and you were not picky of how we loved you, you only wanted what we could give you. Right now I heard you breathing in the other room, but you are not there. How did I just hear you breathing? I hear your whimpering for a pet, to be fed, but I don’t see you here in front of me wagging your tail. Tiggy, our house does not feel like home without you in it and I don’t know what to do about that.
You snuggled in bed with me the day I married my husband, jumped in again when we found out we were pregnant, and when we bought our new home, the one we would raise our children in. You were here the day I brought our daughter home, the day I brought our son. You never wanted anything but love, and never needed anything but us. I held you the day you came home, in awe of how much love I felt through you, and I held you the day you died, in awe of how much love you gave my entire life.
Tigger, you are and will always be my forever furry love. I miss your sounds, your sight, your warmth, you face, your cuddles. You will never be forgotten. I love you.